no Answer

This one single question made me think all night.. My heart was crying and still is..
I never thought this so simple question could cause so much trouble, i never thought i wouldn't be able to give an answer to it, so i left it there.
i sat 30min under water trying to think about it, still couldn't find the answer to that famous question, that killer.

Life is hard, really hard right now,
My heart is crying and shouting out loud but still no answer.
Confusion isn't helping.
I tried to talk it out, still nothing.
Tears drop, heart cries, My head hurts... i can't stop thinking about it
i feel like my head is gonna explode, its so full with confusion and fear.

I have so much questions without answers.

I wish i could open myself to my friends that easily, but i just can't.
And keeping it to myself, i know, doesn't help.
Maybe one day,one day ill be able to talk.
I just need some answers, i just need some time to think
I really need to be alone, to think and to decide.
I know, no rush.
It hurts, hurts so much that i can't stop crying.

I wish i had the answer to that question, but i just don't have it.
i hope that time will help, hopefully i won't have to wait too long.

Showing a fake smile everyday is harder and harder.

I need answers, i need help.

i wish i could end everything right now, the only solution to that is so stupid.
nothing to fear friends, i won't do such thing.
But i just can't deal with life right now.
I just want to shut myself down, where is that power button?

I need holidays,
I need time to think,
I need answers,
I need to clear my head.