Friday, October 28, 2011

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Monday, October 24, 2011

Fear of....

I have this fear of being lonely. I wish i could turn it off but i am someone that doesn't like being alone. This fear is eating me from the inside, that is why i always have to find someone to talk to.
People may find me annoying because of it, but it is who i am.

I am scared of being lonely all my life, i thought i was doing okay but looks like i wasn't.

I am so scared

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Friday, October 21, 2011


Finally decided to exercise, ran laps of champ de mars.. Proud of myself hahhaha

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

One step forward

Today, i made a huge step "forward"

Well if i can consider it forward. Got some answers

but things won't change and still remain the same.



I keep trying over and over again

Monday, October 17, 2011


Another borimg day at work! The week has just started and i already wish it was friday.....

Sunday, October 16, 2011

All i want is.....

All i want is the best for you girl,
But right now, the best for you isn't by my side

Because i keep failing you and slowing you down.
This is how i feel, and i don't want to be that obstacle anymore

Maybe one day, we will be ready


This is bullshit!!! Who the fk wakes up at 6.30am on sundays?


Saturday, October 15, 2011

Stereo heart

My heart's a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every note

Make me your radio
Turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo

Gym class heroes

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Monday, October 10, 2011


Some questions are better left un-answered

busy day

So today i have to do mostly everything

1. Open Cafe
2. Open Shop
3.Go buy bread
4.Go to Ronny's place to get cakes
5.Go back to Cafe
6.Go buy cigs

Dammit, so much to do for a monday :(
I'll surely end up having to go to the market in the afternoon!


Saturday, October 8, 2011


i just realised that most of my friends did not try to talk to me about the matter..
Im happy i have some that do,
maybe its because i am a boy.

Gave up?

I dont know if i did! I just dont know.... I will find that answer surely one day but for now, life keeps going and i have to enjoy it!

Weather in MU: terribly hot

Friday, October 7, 2011


The things we did
The things we said
Come back to me
And make me smile again

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

no Answer

This one single question made me think all night.. My heart was crying and still is..
I never thought this so simple question could cause so much trouble, i never thought i wouldn't be able to give an answer to it, so i left it there.
i sat 30min under water trying to think about it, still couldn't find the answer to that famous question, that killer.

Life is hard, really hard right now,
My heart is crying and shouting out loud but still no answer.
Confusion isn't helping.
I tried to talk it out, still nothing.
Tears drop, heart cries, My head hurts... i can't stop thinking about it
i feel like my head is gonna explode, its so full with confusion and fear.

I have so much questions without answers.

I wish i could open myself to my friends that easily, but i just can't.
And keeping it to myself, i know, doesn't help.
Maybe one day,one day ill be able to talk.
I just need some answers, i just need some time to think
I really need to be alone, to think and to decide.
I know, no rush.
It hurts, hurts so much that i can't stop crying.

I wish i had the answer to that question, but i just don't have it.
i hope that time will help, hopefully i won't have to wait too long.

Showing a fake smile everyday is harder and harder.

I need answers, i need help.

i wish i could end everything right now, the only solution to that is so stupid.
nothing to fear friends, i won't do such thing.
But i just can't deal with life right now.
I just want to shut myself down, where is that power button?

I need holidays,
I need time to think,
I need answers,
I need to clear my head.


Can't stop thinking!
So many choices to make , so many factors to take into consideration.. What if i make the wrong choice?

This is scary, should i way? How long?
What if i wait too much? What if all this is wrong?
So much unanswered questions!

Think Yan, think


Maybe you should try to leave me a secret message or say hi more often

I miss you
I wish things were alot easier


Revealed something embarassing..

Fake or not, still is!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011


Shud i change?
Do i need to change?
What if i dont want to?


Today was a boring day :( felt so sleepy all day! And FML!

House of Canton

Went to eat dim sum with mom, vans and jeff! Christopher was too drunk to come, so he stayed at my place to sleep hahahhaha

Poor boy but great night!


I feel weak today! Maybe its due to the lack of sleep

Have a good day everyone

Monday, October 3, 2011


My heart is so weak right now

Theres no way to heal it right now


"It's not supposed to feel this way
I need you, I need you
More and more each day
It's not supposed to hurt this way
I need you, I need you, I need you
Tell me, are you and me still together?
Tell me, do you think we could last forever?
Tell me, why"

Avril Lavigne

Sunday, October 2, 2011


New shopping all, not bad not bad!

emptyness #2

After talking to a friend, i felt this again.

Sucks to be me.

I wanna forget, its killing me everyday

Steak night + drinks

Was an awesome night!

We had tbones and fillet for dinner
And then we started drinking

Le Chou blacked out and doesnt remember anything hahahhaha

Great night!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Horse racing

Ive decided to go attend the 1st race today! I was taking pictures on my iphone when the horses were passing by me, then i turned my head to the left!
WTF! A jockey by my side, all stunned! Im like what is he doing here? Then i saw his horse!
It was an horrible scene, the horse foot was broken :'(
The members of the turf club assisted both jockey and horse!

Poor Horse :(

Never attending a horse race again