Tuesday, December 24, 2013


Merry Xmas Eve to all you readers (not that i have much)

This year has been quiet good, Thankful for everything...

Monday, December 9, 2013

Decisions and Choices

I wish things we're simpler.

For the first time in my life, i have to make drastic decision. I've never been in this situation before.
I ain't sure about those feelings, I really don't know what to do. I like them both, but how much do i like them? Equally? One more than the other?

I don't know how to deal with all this. I don't know what to do.
On one side, there is this one that i am pretty sure likes me. But i ain't sure if its gonna work out. There's stuff that bothers me a lot about her past, and the way she acts. Will I be able to deal with that? Some friends already don't like her, does it really matter? Will i find happiness?

And the other one... I have no chances for sure, no hope to go any further. But she does count alot. Her being so reserved is what makes it so interesting. Maybe she has things to hide? I don't really know. But she does care a lot about me, always looking for my best. I just regret telling you really how i felt, my mistakes as always.

I do feel comfortable with both of them, both caring. But it isn't fair to decide between them. I don't think it would be fair to them and to myself. I ain't sure how i feel actually, i ain't sure of anything right now. Do i have to take a decision? Do i have to pick? What if i don't want to? What if its better to let it go? So many unanswered questions. So many thoughts about the matter.

I wish I could shut down those feelings, they keep bothering me day and night. I don't know what to do.... It may be so wrong, but loving both isn't allowed, not for me. But she does care alot about me, always looking back for my best.

Am i being a Jerk? Who knows.
Am i being unfair to them? Surely

It really sucks not to have an answer to all those questions.  Why am i so undecisive?